In this modern age, interpersonal interactions, whether in a personal or work context, are perhaps more essential than ever before. Professor Swati Bhatia of Bada Business describes how authentic relationship building coupled with empathetic and truthful messaging can help in naturally convincing others. This creates trust and fosters a positive long term relationship.
How Do You Form a Connection with Another Person?
Any exchange requires the ability to generate a proper emotional bond, something which is necessary for any interaction. From trying to persuade a friend to sample food they would otherwise ignore to even convincing a colleague to place a casual game of Wordle with them, the first step is emotional connection. Here is how to achieve it:
Senses
Connecting begins from how you connect with the senses of another person. Simple gestures such as a smile, eye contact, or even listening attentively can create connections. To illustrate, while at the park meeting other joggers, smiling to the person you don’t know eases your connection. Likewise, smiling warmly at your audience when making a presentation breaks the anxiety and creates an inviting atmosphere for interaction.
Honesty
To start, Honesty is central to building a connection with someone. A person’s concern is a starting point from which you can build rapport. For instance, if your customer complains about how quickly his phone battery drains, you can relate to him by indicating that you understand his concerns. Also, when a friend tells you that he is late because of the traffic, you can assist him by saying something like, “Yes, I know,” and as a result you will have established a bond with him.
Empathy
Empathy means appreciating the feelings of others to as much as necessary and appropriate. Rather than attacking or putting hand on someone’s shoulder, acknowledge them in a way that encourages and bolsters them. With empathy, you can trust and talk openly in a more relaxed context, which in turn, will make persuading people around you painless.
How To Make Sure Your Message Comes Across
Besides the initially established connection, how one goes on about communicating their message is of prime importance. There is a fine balance when trying to persuade someone without coming off as too aggressive, and that is a skill one is able to acquire with practice. Let’s take an example from history as in insight can be taken from figures like Chanakya and Birbal. They are said to have used the following CCA strategy while attempting to persuade powerful leaders:
C – Comprehend
Many people have the habit of immediately voicing their opinion without thinking about their words and the impact the chosen words have. For instance, consider the Russian revolt leader who made a quip about the rope that was meant to hang him during the rule of Nicholas I. After hearing his quip, he was hanged but not before he was given another chance to redeem himself. Choosing to remain silent set him in a win-win situation. The goal is to stop and think before talking, it can help save one from attention seeking and ensure that your words have the desired impact.
C – Cues
You can also base your approach on the person in question and the kind of relationship you share with them. Just like Chanakya and Birbal had an understanding of the kind of kings they advised, you as well should try understanding the person that you are willing to speak to. For example, someone who loves receiving gifts for celebration may actually appreciate some kind gesture done towards them, while someone who is mostly self absorbed in trying to gain something will need a different approach.
A – Bypass Over-Arguments
As a result of both sides being defensive in a talk, disputes arise and escalate. As seen in the anecdote of Dale Carnegie and the tax officer, one can also resolve a situation (without any confrontation) simply by avoiding the argument and using flattery. By accepting the officer’s competence, Dale changed the result of the situation without arguing any points.
How to Convince Other Person?
The most effective way to try to convince someone is not to attempt convincing them in the first place. Instead, work towards establishing a sincere relationship and connection. With that established, the convincing would be automatic. For example, when you go to a doctor, he would already observe things that would most likely signify questions regarding your state of health. Instead of immediately prescribing medications, the physician first speaks with you regarding your symptoms, does an examination, gives you their findings, and only afterward prescribes treatment. By the time they reach the point of providing you with treatment, the vast majority of the effort has already been made in order to your trust their expertise.
Connections are not only essential in achieving persuasion, but also in enabling deeper and more complex relationships to exist, whether in personal life or work. Important Note Get this: Do not try too hard to advocate your position and get your point across. Simply build relationships and allow your deeds to advocate your stance.
There is no need to resort to mind tricks or deception to fabricate connections with people. It is best to trust that sincerity, compassion, and the ability to build human connections can help influence people in the best manner possible. When having games in New York, discussing Wordle with friends, or engaging in discussions of great importance, remember that authentic connections are what have the deepest influence.
Regardless if it’s chatting with clients, participating in a Wordle session with colleagues, or playing games with friends, establishing emotional connections should always be your top priority. Remember the SHE model – Senses, Honesty, and Empathy – to strengthen the relationships you have and be able to easily convince people.
it can be done through:
Compassion:
Adopt emotion and empathy.
Communication and transparency:
Understanding the problems and needs that are put forth and interacting accordingly.
Adjusting your methods:
Always be willing to change your approach based on whom you’re having a conversation with.
Cautious Speech:
Be wary of words chosen and minimize unsparing remarks.
Conclusion
The approach you have put forth serves to be the most ideal in building trust and laying the foundation to foster influence.
